Job Hunting in Hawaii

Now that I'm back in Hawaii and free of the drudgery that is paying rent and wearing pants around the house, I can instead focus on preparing myself for a journalism career by reading a lot, writing a lot, and (failing at) job hunting a lot.

I nabbed my New York job and apartment through Craigslist, but so far locating a decent paying job that's tangentially related to writing has been more painful than that time in elementary school when some guy parked his 20 lbs. backpack atop my gonads. At least I've unearthed a few chuckles from the steamy crapshoot of Craigslist job listings.

Here are some of my favorites:

• Get in Now or Slap Yourself Later! $1000 Daily - As far as I know, slapping myself shouldn't cost me a thousand bucks.
  
  
• Don't not try this unless you need money! - I need money... so I shouldn't try this?
  
  
• My 8 year old daughter makes more money than you! - The sad thing about this ad is that it's probably true.
  
  
• Lazy guy makes $1500 a day. He'll show you how - I found this listing tempting, but I couldn't muster the energy to investigate further. I'm holding out for $2000 daily.
  
  
• It's literally raining money at my house! Want some? - This actually sounds legitimate. Literally.

So which listing do you think I should look into?