USC = Uggh, Soy Consado

I'm getting closer and closer towards choosing which journalism school to attend but before I reveal my choice I'll first recap my entire trip to USC.

Monday:

3am - Stagger home from another night of intensive television watching and internet surfing.

4am - 6am - Calculate how much sleep I'll get before having to wake up and prepare for flight.

6:30am-9am - Sleep. Frequently scratch myself.

9:15am-10:30am - Shower and undergo beauty routine consisting mostly of vigorous toweling and generous deodorizing.

10:45am-10:47am - Pack.

10:47am-12:45pm - Run errands and stuff face with food.

12:46pm-4:10pm - Step on wrong subway train and promptly fall asleep. Wake up in time to realize that I'm screwed.

4:15pm - Get rejected from flight. Pay $75 for a later flight and scramble to change all appointments. Nap

9:15pm - midnight (local time) - Think about how much I hate flying. Do it anyway.

Tuesday:

8:00am-6:30pm - Meet faculty and see department. Become simultaneously impressed with program and convinced I shouldn't go there.

7pm-11pm - Try to reroute flight to stop by Northwestern's campus. Fail then nap.

11pm-3:30am - Eat huge Carl's Jr. burger and not sleep because my stomach is tired of my abuse.

4:30am-7am - Wait at airport. Eat more fast food and silently add contribution to green house effect.

7am-4pm (local time) - Realize that I still hate flying. Do it anyway, again.

5pm-midnight - Sleep and completely screw up anything resembling a normal circadian rhythm.

Analysis of trip to come.

Whirlwind Romance

I'm typing this literally with one buttock on the chair as I prepare for my hot date with USC. The admissions staff arranged for all my transportation and accomodations so all I have to do is show up to their Journalism Department preview and not say anything incredibly stupid.

Enjoy your week in the meantime!

I Got In - Now What?

My head was initially filled with warm fuzzies after I was accepted into nearly every journalism program I applied to (Columbia apparently wanted to buck the trend), but that early elation has slowly ebbed away over the last few days to be replaced by an almost physical need to really think about my choices.

My physical needs have been further exacerbated due to some important missing information -- namely financial aid offers -- from several programs. I finished my taxes in record time to speed up the process but another couple of weeks may pass before I have a clearer idea of where I can realistically expect to attend.

However, I do know that CUNY has awarded me a scholarship for full tuition. This means that I would still have to pay for my own books and living expenses but I wouldn't have to spend a penny for any class. This will be key because it's unlikely I'll be able to handle my course load and a job on the side.

I may have a similar arrangement at Northwestern if I'm fortunate enough to win a scholarship for which I've been nominated. The scholarship is based on potential leadership ability so I'm not getting my hopes up. It's nice to think about a potential free ride at Northwestern but the accompanying uncertainty over my chances drives home exactly how precarious my financial situation is.

In the meantime, I'm left to consider all the other ways I can parse my options.

In no particular order, I have the University of Southern California (USC), the City University of New York (CUNY), Medill at Northwestern, and New York University (NYU) to consider as possible destinations.

Based on reputation alone, Northwestern and NYU would probably top the list followed by USC and then CUNY. Judging a program by its reputation may seem shallow but journalism programs are supposed to act as a direct pipeline towards a staff position on a newspaper or magazine and a department's reputation is largely based on its ability to do just that.

Breaking the programs down by curriculum has proved to be more complicated. I applied to schools with a demonstrated emphasis on training professional newsroom skills; attending each program should not only prepare me for a journalism career but each department also offers programs in multimedia and feature-length article writing that would help me find a place within the converging worlds of (multi)media.

Like in other fields, the key to finding a full-time gig after graduating will probably run through an internship. Each department offers assistance in finding internships but only CUNY requires its students to complete one. CUNY has made an internship a required component of its summer session but also guarantees a stipend if the internship doesn't already provide one. The other departments highly recommend internship experience but none offer anything matching CUNY's level of support.

If it sounds like I'm favoring CUNY then we're probably on the same page since I have by far the most experience with the program. I've already sat down on one of their classes and not only felt comfortable doing so but I already feel a strong rapport with some of the teachers. Their program is very new (I would be joining its third class, I think) but it's well-funded, features state of the art equipment, has experienced professionals on staff with strong connections to the rest of the industry, and their department is brimming with the energy and enthusiasm of an entity that is still new and young enough to operate without the burden of excessive bureaucracy.

CUNY stands out in all the important areas but one: reputation. They're still so new that a degree from CUNY won't carry nearly the prestige (or potential hiring strength, which is by far more important) as a degree from another, more established program.

Which takes me back to Medill at Northwestern. Medill is recognized as either the top or number two program in journalism and its facilities are without a doubt comparable to CUNY's. Its staff is probably amongst the most respected in the field, but there is more of an academic bent to the program that isn't as in line with my own interests. I wouldn't be going wrong by receiving my graduate education at Northwestern and they're the only department I'm considering that offers opportunities to travel and work abroad -- something I'm definitely interested in.

On the negative side, I'd have to pick up and relocate to Chicago to attend Medill. I did enjoy the week I spent in the Windy City a few years back and I even have an old friend in the neighborhood, but it's been incredibly helpful living a stone throw away from my dear little brother.

Rounding out my choices are NYU and USC. NYU offers similar advantages to CUNY with unparalleled access to top-flight magazines and newspapers here in New York. Its reputation is greater than CUNY's. Unfortunately, NYU uses the most difficult system for offering financial aid by matching outside offers. I'm not terribly excited about looking for more funding, but I may have to no matter which institution I end up attending.

I probably haven't given USC enough of my attention yet. It ended up on my list because my roommate recommended its program based on its strong connection to LA papers (apparently the LA Times is next door), his sister's referral for the graduate journalism department, and his attendance as an undergrad. I can also add that USC's emphasis on multimedia reporting is among the most innovative in the country and their staff is also well respected. I know I didn't receive any department scholarships but it's also possible that their financial aid offer could be very supportive. I've also been contacted by one of their professors who shares an alma mater with me.

Sometimes -- like right now -- thinking really hard can also be really tiring.

But at least one benefit from all this pondering is the crystallizing sense of what lies before me.

I expect I'll be working my butt off to master those writing techniques I've spent the last several years learning by trial and error. I'll almost certainly have to confront a number of apprehensions about sticking my nose in places it isn't wanted and then voicing questions I'll be terrified to speak.

Without a doubt I will spend at least one night (possibly more like fifty) fretting over an assignment that's due the next day. I know I'll fall in love with a piece I'll be working on only to have it ripped to shreds by an editor with nothing but good intentions. I somehow imagine that I'll finally find a nice pair of shoes I'll enjoy wearing that aren't sneakers.

I also fully expect the journey to be worth every minute and every penny, even if I can't really afford it.

Thank you, Graduate Admissions Gods

The Graduate Admissions Gods must have been pleased by my words last night because they've responded to my blog-offering with great tidings: admission to Northwestern and NYU.

I actually was admitted to Northwestern almost two weeks ago but I didn't learn of it until the NW admissions office called me today to find out why I've been such a slowpoke in checking my application status.

Barely minutes later I also received an email telling me that I've been nominated for a full-ride at NW. And when I went to pick up my NW acceptance packet in the mail, lo and behold but an NYU packet was riding piggy-back.

Excuse me while I go burn some incense and quiver with happiness.

Waiting...

I'm currently in the midst of that old admissions game known as "waiting for the mail." I've had the good fortune to hear back from USC with an acceptance letter. I'm also 90% certain that I'll be awarded acceptance into CUNY's program if the level of their wooing is any indication.

I have no idea what to expect from the other schools.

My focus lately has fallen on other topics, which is probably for the best. I've encountered a frustrating rash of computer problems the last couple of weeks which has all but stopped me from writing anything new. I've re-learned that taking a few days off from writing, whether it's a simple blog post like this or a lengthy article with actual value to society (obviously I'm not writing from experience on that second item), can make a blank page look awfully intimidating.

Every book or quote about writing I've ever read somehow makes the point that it is difficult. I tend to agree with those statements. If I were a wittier person I'd even say that the only people who can face a blank page without any fear are those making paper airplanes. Actually that's not half bad.

In any case, it's going to be important for me to keep on trucking -- and writing. If I were a more pompous person I'd say that I need to keep honing my craft, but I think I'd have to wear a bowtie and smoke a pipe to get away with those words and I barely remember to zip my fly half the time. Not to mention smoke makes me wheeze like a four-year-old with a clogged nose.

So here's to waiting for the big news in the mail, and not forgetting to take care of business in the meantime.

Moving On or Moving Out

I helped one of my roommates move out today as he apparently decided to leave New York and head back home. I say apparently because he didn't tell anyone that he was moving. In fact, the only way we knew he had moved out was when I opened his door yesterday afternoon and found nothing but dirty carpet, lingering smoke residue, and an old pair of dress shoes in the closet. I immediately thought of Tom Arnold in True Lies when he complained about his ex-wife who took everything when she left him, right down to the ice cube trays in the freezer.

I can shake my head and chuckle at the situation because I'm not my landlord who is now missing one third of a rent check (we came into the apartment separately so we don't pay our rent together). I think my apartment-survivor's-guilt led me to vacuum my ex-roommate's room for my landlord but otherwise I'm relatively unaffected by his sudden getaway.

My ex-roommate, who I will call Brent because that's his name, was obviously having a difficult time since he moved here from Rhode Island in early December. He's twenty-five and the oldest of our (ex) trio of roommates but I could tell that he had done the least growing up. One late night while we were chatting he admitted to me that his parents still cleaned up all his messes for him: tuition bills, speeding tickets, moving costs, you name it. It was that same night that he told me (not in so many words, but the message was clear) that he often walked the streets because he was lonely and that beer was "his most favorite thing in the world."

And even though Brent lied to me about his plans I can't help but feel some sympathy for his situation.

A couple month ago I was in a similar conundrum though it now feels like it happened closer to a year ago. I was juggling impending grad school applications and the pressures of my internship, and one night I hit my first snag in my new night job. When I got back to my apartment at three or four in the morning I took to the streets like Brent did and I called home.

My parents listened to my challenges and declared their unconditional support for me. But then they urged me to keep trying. I was already considering waiting another year for my grad school applications but they helped me realize that no matter how long I waited, I would have to buckle down at some point. And if I didn't get in, well, I already faced that possibility anyway. A month later I'm very, very glad I followed their advice. It certainly wasn't easy moving past that difficult period but I know now I made the right decision to keep moving forward.

I'm not sure if Brent made a similar call back home. I suspect he did because I'm pretty certain he was very short on money and would have needed his family's help once again to move out. It's too bad he wasn't able to make a different decision because now he'll have to erase the last two months of his life from his resume and his housing history and he'll have nothing to show for it but another mess his parents had to clean up for him.

It's a struggle to not think less of him for what he did. He lied to myself and my roommate. He may have shorted us on his share of the utilities (I'm not sure if he settled with my roommate), and my landlord told me that Brent lied to her face about moving out. They crossed paths in our building's stairwell amidst moving furniture and he said that he was staying put. The poor sap.

I suppose I could have tried harder to reach out to him, but that's hard to do when somebody holds back their true intentions from you.

I'm going to do my best to remember Brent. Because I know I'll be running into challenging spots for the rest of my life, and when I do I'll think WWBD -- "What would Brent do?" And then I'll do the opposite.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Nearly two weeks have passed since I took Columbia's written application test so I had fallen out of my "professional journalist" mindset by the time I went in for an interview today at CUNY.

I blame my late work hours for part of my lack of focus and I blame my attempt at maintaining a pre-noon wake-up call for the rest -- that misguided project has only succeeded in making me sleepy anytime I'm not physically drooling on my pillow.

I also blame the Super Bowl for being so exciting that I had to watch it and stay out late enough that I had to spend the night at my brother's apartment before dragging myself to my place in the morning. My interview was at 3pm but I always have to set aside an extra four or five hours to dress myself appropriately. Because I suck at dressing appropriately, see.

Case in point: Of all the clothes I wore at my interview today, the shoes, pants, shirt, and sweater were either purchased today or else acquired so recently they had never been worn. I'm pretty certain tags were still sticking out of me when I walked through CUNY's doors.

Despite my inability to dress myself in a professional manner I think I actually made a good impression. I even got the impression that CUNY wants me.

I certainly found a lot to like after touring their facilities. They have state of the art equipment, and by state of the art equipment I mean stuff that flashes and beeps and does things that I can't comprehend. The students were dressed very nicely, which isn't necessarily a positive sign for me, but the faculty members I spoke to were very energetic, experienced, and more than happy to answer my questions.

If I had to compare my interview with a movie, I'd go with The Cutting Edge. I played the role of Doug Dorsey, the hockey player who carries an extra helmet to throw up in before the game because the first ten minutes of my interview I was so nervous and inarticulate that I felt like one of those zoo monkeys that hoots a lot but can't effectively communicate intelligent thought. Thankfully my interviewer was a very kind lady who didn't acknowledge my brief regression into the animal kingdom.

CUNY's program looks fresh (it's less than two years old), hungry, motivated and thorough. It also doesn't hurt that it's a fourth of the cost of any other program I've applied to.

I'll definitely be going back to check out a class or a talk and hopefully I'll remember not to hoot at anyone. Or throw up.